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Dale Carnegie famously pointed out that you can make more
friends in two months by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying to get other people
interested in you.
Although Dale Carnegie died in 1955, his work in personal
development lives on. His classic book, How to Win Friends and
Influence People was first published in 1937 and is considered
the grandfather of all 'people skill' books since then.
Because of his great understanding of human nature, his books
and fundamental teachings are just as popular today. In fact,
the title of his book is so widely used as a phrase, that some
people who say it that may not even know where the phrase 'how
to win friends and influence people' comes from.
Here are his six principles in making people like you:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
I think we've all met someone that pretend to be interested in
you but you can sense that they really aren't. There doesn't
seem to be anything genuine about these types of people. We tend
to label them 'phoney.' This is probably one case where fake it
until you make won't work. So, how do you become genuinely
interested in other people? You'll want to ask them questions.
Learn what they do, what they like. Everyone likes to talk about
him or herself. Get them to talk about their dreams!
2. Smile.
Not much to add, here. When you walk into a room with a smile on
your face, you might as well be carrying a people magnet.
3. Use a person´s name.
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and
most important sound in any language. Just like in the old
romantic movies: "Oh, John... John!" "Oh, Mary, dear Mary!"
4. Be a good listener.
Encourage others to talk about themselves. When you do this with
a sincere and genuine interest in the other person you cannot
fail to encourage that person to feel appreciated and valued.
This is a key trait of anyone who has mastered people skills.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
Again, this principle stresses making time to listen to others
to find out what is of interest to them. Let their interests
guide the direction of the conversation and you will enjoy a
solid rapport that encourages friendship.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.
This cannot be faked for long. Look for the good in others and
respect other viewpoints, beliefs and lifestyles. Even ones that
do not make sense to you. This flexibility is important if you
are to respect the other person.
His last three points, tie into the first. How to win friends
and influence people is a book that reminds us that anything you
do from a place of fellowship will have a good result. He uses
this fable to prove his point:
The sun and the wind were arguing about who was the strongest.
The wind pointed at an old man. The wind said that he'd prove
his strength by getting the man to remove his coat. He blew and
howled and blew some more.
The old man clung to his coat more than ever. When the wind
finally gave up, the sun came out from behind a cloud and shone
brightly. Soon the man was wiping his forehead and removing his
coat.
About the author:
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced
a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing
Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only
at: how to
communicate
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