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In all marriages, there comes a time when stress takes its toll
on the relationship. Whether the issues are with money,
children, or household chores, it doesn't really matter. After
awhile, it seems like all you do anymore is argue and bicker,
even over things that don't really matter. But don't worry;
things can get better if you really want them to. All you need
to do is learn how to deal with you or your spouse's anger, and
stick with a method that works.
Here are a few methods to help you and your spouse deal with
anger during an argument:
Listen to your partner. It's only natural to throw back
insulting or accusatory remarks when someone is attacking your
character. But when you do this you're not making the situation
any better, you're just making it worse. Try not to play dirty
by saying things that will hurt your spouse in return. Wait
until they are done yelling, and then try to lead the argument
in a calmer direction.
Learn to take responsibility for your part of their anger.
There's a chance you may have subconsciously provoked his or her
anger. Think carefully about anything you may have said or done
to set them off. If it is something you can avoid, maybe you can
try to steer clear of this type of behavior in the future, for
the sake of your marriage.
Validate your spouse's feelings of anger. You won't solve
anything if you dismiss their emotions as futile or stupid.
People can't help the way they feel, and being told that they
shouldn't "feel" a certain way will only fuel more anger. Do
your best not to judge your spouse's feelings and emotions.
Call a "time out." We use it with our children because it works.
Why shouldn't we use it with our spouse? If you feel the
argument escalating out of control, take a step back and let
your spouse know that you will not continue with this
conversation if they can't control their anger. Take a "time
out" and continue the conversation later on when both of you
have calmed down and are thinking more rationally.
About the author:
Are Finances Tearing Your Marriage Apart?
Work at Home.
Set Your Own Hours & Save Your Marriage!
http://www.mysurveyconne
ction.com
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